I hate Halloween Horror Nights. I absolutely hate Halloween Horror Nights. I don’t like scary stuff to begin with, and I despise horror movies. Yet, for some reason, every year, my friends think it’s a great idea to try to take me to Halloween Horror Nights. Even one of my newer friends found out I don’t like Halloween Horror Nights and her immediate reaction was that we should go, because it’s so fun to take someone who actually gets scared.
No. It is not fun. I don’t just get scared. I get panic attacks.
I am not an anxious person by nature, but there is something about Halloween Horror Nights that kickstarts what anxiety I do have, and it just turns into a mess. The first year I went to Halloween Horror Nights, I wound up hiding in Diagon Alley for two hours while the rest of my party finished the houses they wanted to do. Unfortunately, I’ve been to Halloween Horror Nights a handful of times since then and now have amassed a number of tricks to help you get through the night if you’re like me.
Halloween Horror Nights is made up of Haunted Houses, which are mazes that twist through buildings where Scareactors jump out at you, and Scare Zones, which is an open area with Scareactors running around. A Scareactor is the term for a Halloween Horror Nights performer, and there are additional Scareactors roaming the park outside of the Scare Zones. They’re usually clowns wielding chainsaws, but it can vary. There is no way to get through Halloween Horror Nights without encountering Scareactors.
Believe me, I’ve tried.
- Walk with purpose. To avoid having Scareactors target you, move like you’re on a mission. The less afraid you look, the less reason they have to go for you. They want to surprise you, so if you’re looking down or in a different direction, it’s easier for them to jump out at you. Plus, the faster you are moving, the faster you get away from them.
- Everyone wants to be on Instagram. Last year I discovered a really handy trick for the Scare Zones. If you have a camera, they don’t usually try to scare you. They pose instead. So even if you’re not taking pictures, if you’ve got a camera you can carry, it’ll keep them back at a photographable range!
- Monkey in the middle. You go through the houses single file. If you’re in the middle between two people who aren’t scared easily, you will look like less of a target. This also works sometimes in reverse, and Jay likes to use me as bait.
- I usually don’t have my eyes open in the houses at all. I’ve tried. It doesn’t work for me. So, I either keep my face buried in Jay’s back, or I keep my eyes on the ground. Unfortunately, this makes the Scareactors target me, which works out great for Jay. For some reason, they don’t really jump out at six-foot-tall guys.
- What works for some people may not work for you. Last year Jay’s friends suggested I try ear plugs since the houses are so loud. Jay thought this was a great idea, but it made everything worse for me. It distorted the sound and things that were right in front of me sounded far away. Not a good idea since I wasn’t looking where I was going.
- Diagon Alley is a safe haven. As of yet, Halloween Horror Nights has not invaded the Wizarding World in Orlando. So, if you need a place to hide, Diagon Alley is your best bet. The shops are open and Escape from Gringotts runs all night long, with a pretty short wait! As of right now, Diagon Alley is the only place truly away from the madness as you can usually hear the sound effects and see people outside restaurant windows.
- Keep the numbers down. A lot of people like to go to Halloween Horror Nights in huge groups. This just leads to a lot of standing around waiting while other people get drinks, or take smoke breaks, or eating. Standing around waiting, in my experience at least, isn’t getting a break from the anxiety. It’s letting it build in anticipation and dread of going back in the houses. That’s not to say you shouldn’t go with a group, but once you hit double digits, everything is out of control.
- Pick something to look at. The houses are essentially tiny movie sets. There are tons of fun detail to be found. If you can look past the crazy people jumping out at you, you are in an immersive world to focus on.
- Find something fun. Maybe you hate the Houses, but you like the Scare Zones. Maybe you just want to see the shows, and getting through the Scare Zones is worth it.
Are you taking a Fraidy-Cat to Halloween Horror Nights? I have some tips for you!
- Show them this article. It might help!
- Be prepared to leave early. If your friend is willing to leave their comfort zone for you, you need to accept that they have limits. Scrub the phrase: “Come on, one more house!” from your vocabulary now. Don’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do.
All that being said, I sincerely hope this helps someone survive a night at Halloween Horror Nights and enjoy it. I know this event is lots of fun for some people. I wish it was fun for me!
Now if anyone needs me, Duffy and I will be finishing my costume for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. That’s a Chelsea friendly event!
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