Every January, the tide brings a strange sighting to the Tampa Bay: a fully rigged Pirate ship sailing into port known as the Jose Gasparilla. The ship is named for José Gaspar, a legendary pirate who commanded the Gulf of Mexico and Spanish Main back in ye old days of pirates. Whether he was a real historical figure or merely folklore is debated, but since 1904 Tampa has been throwing a huge pirate themed festival and parade in his honor during which the Mayor surrenders the city to the pirates. Despite living in Florida for four years now, I had never heard of it until about a month prior when I was told to request the day off.
Rewind a few months. I like costuming and cosplay. I can’t sew to save my life, but I have some very talented friends and I’m good at putting things together. Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party had snuck up on us, and I realized we didn’t have the time or money to put together the costumes we really wanted. While I could have done Korra for the fourth year in a row, it felt time to change it up. Jay already had a pretty good pirate outfit from his Renaissance Fair days, so that meant we could invest most of our available funds into mine, and thus our pirate outfits were born. When the pictures popped up on Facebook, they attracted the attention of some of our friends, Robert and Victoria, who are really into pirating and costuming, and they invited us out to pillage and plunder with them in Tampa.
We had two separate crafting nights working on the outfits beforehand, and there are still supplies strewn all over my house. Sword belts, painted toy guns, a flag, earrings, you name it, and we probably made it. By we, I mean mostly them. My contribution was a hand-drawn map that I don’t think ever left the house. Jay’s pirate has a name, and a very elaborate backstory, so I came up with one for my pirate that would fit in with his. 
Turns out Robert’s pirate also has a backstory, and the two of them concocted a story about how two captains and two first mates were sailing under the same flag. (No, really, this was a two hour process.) My pirate’s name is Seraphina and once upon a time she was a mermaid before she became entangled with Captain Bartholomew Grimm. I’m extremely happy I told Victoria this because she came up with this amazing mermaid makeup that I would have never known how to do and made me some seashell and octopus accessories.
The four of us stayed up entirely too late the night before to get up at an hour that should not be permitted on a Saturday and piled into the car to make the hour plus drive to Tampa.
Everything was smooth sailing until we got closer to the bay where streets were closed and traffic was tight. We made our way to the hotel where friends of Robert and Victoria were staying in a room with a harbor view so we could wait for the ship to sail in. We had a crew of nine in total, all decked out to nines, or I guess pieces of eight in this case. I made friends with a gentleman who said he answered to Captain (his real name is Aaron), and runs a blog of his own called Urban Scallywag. We spent about an hour in the room staring out at the bay watching different types of boats cruising around, everything from tiny little motor boats to huge yachts that could crush the motor boats. Finally our waiting paid off as the Jose Gasparilla, the world’s only fully rigged pirate ship, sailed into view. We were too far for a good look but she boasts three masts with full sails and no engine to power her. At 147 feet long, she’s mighty impressive.
The ship pulling into the bay. Photo by Urban Scallywag.
We headed down for the disembarking. Duffy stayed in the safety of the hotel room to hang out with another girl’s Eeyore pillow pet because I was afraid he’d get beer spilled on him. I thought we were actually going to watch the ship dock but I guess we weren’t fast enough, by the time we were down there the crew was already coming off.
The crews coming off the ships. Photo by Urban Scallywag.
Gasparilla is a whole lot like Mardi Gras. You get handed lots of swag, or get swag thrown at you, and if you’re a girl in a pirate outfit, you get a lot more. They had everything from beads to eyepatches to doubloons. The crew coming off the ship has limited edition items that you can apparently only get from them, like collectors’ coins stamped with the year and the date. So Victoria took up one spot, and I took up another, and the guys sort of hung back behind me. I got a decent amount of beads, a couple of coins, coins on a necklace and a light-up eye patch. I was heartbroken when the kid next to me got the rubber duck, but I suppose that was to be expected. Victoria did better than I did, but this was where we learned my years of playing Ultimate Frisbee paid off, I’m actually really good at snatching things flying out of midair. This skill would continue to pay off as we moved to the parade route.
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Another float. Photo by Urban Scallywag.
A parade float. Photo by Urban Scallywag.
Robert and Victoria.
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[lgc_column grid=”50″ tablet_grid=”50″ mobile_grid=”100″ last=”true”]We had to cross a bridge and walk a few blocks in order to get to the parade route. I kept ending up in the front, which was a terrible plan seeing as I had no idea where I was actually going. But we eventually figured it out, and found a spot behind a row of people who were sitting down. So we waited, but it wasn’t more than half an hour before the floats started rolling through. A series of cop cars came first, followed by the Budweiser Clydesdales which I was ecstatic to see. They had been appearing in Orlando and I hadn’t been able to go see them. (I just like horses, and I miss the days when they were at SeaWorld.) Then came the actual floats. Some of them were almost as impressive as Disney floats, some of them not so much. My favorites were the people who looked like they were having fun. Almost every single person was throwing beads or coins or something of that nature. The other girls in our group made their way to the front of the fence over time while I hung back for the most part, talking with the guys and commentating.[/lgc_column]
I was still happy to leap for anything that came my way, which got more and more challenging as the day went on. There were guys on either side of our group that were well over six feet tall, and it was an overcast, chilly day so my hands stopped working as well over time. I know what you’re thinking: Florida doesn’t get cold. But when you’re used to seventy-plus degrees year round, the low sixties is incredibly cold, especially when you’re wearing a sleeveless corset with a skirt. I actually wound up with both Robert’s coat and Aaron’s vest before it was all said and done. Jay was colder than I was and fighting a cold so taking his was out of the question.
[lgc_column grid=”50″ tablet_grid=”50″ mobile_grid=”100″ last=”false”]The Gasparilla parade literally lasted a solid three to four hours, and there was plenty of trading spots along the fence and chatting with strangers next to us. Some random girls one group down from us saw me miss a big bead catch and came over to put five or six around my neck, which I didn’t understand but was very sweet. Some of the parade marchers were trading bigger favors for alcohol from the crowd. Several of the floats were firing mini cannons that made me jump a foot in the air the first time I heard one. [/lgc_column][lgc_column grid=”50″ tablet_grid=”50″ mobile_grid=”100″ last=”true”]
A parade float. Photo by Urban Scallywag.
Photo by Urban Scallywag.
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One of the cannons was actually blasting out coins, or maybe they just timed their throws to make it seem that way. I made my way up to the fence at one point to try a turn at getting things handed to me rather than thrown. If you’re not looking, those beads get dangerous after a while, especially when they throw them in a big bunch instead of individually. Poor Aaron actually took one in the side of the head and his ear was bright red for the next half hour or so. I wasn’t as good at drawing attention to myself as the other girls in our group and I gave up after a little while, going back to find the captains (Jay, Robert and Aaron) arguing the logistics of there now being three of them. My favorite moment of the whole day came from this.
Robert: See, if anything be happenin’ to me, you be answerin’ to him!
He pointed at Jay.
Robert: If anything happened to him, you’d be answerin’ to me! And if anything happened to the both of us, you be answerin’ to her!
He pointed at me and Jay laughed. The beauty of having your first mate be a former mermaid, there’s this whole lore about being able to sing and lure men to their doom and stir up storms. Aaron looked at me and back to them.
Aaron: Aye, but that be why I’ve been befriendin’ her!
Admittedly, he wasn’t wrong. I spent more time talking to him than I did the rest of the new crew.
Jay, Aaron and Robert.
The parade wrapped up sometime after five, Jay and I actually missed the end of it because I gave in and went to use the port-a-potty. My skirt was actually three skirts layered together, and without exaggeration must have weighed twelve pounds. Fitting those skirts inside was no easy task, let me tell you. We went back to find our crew and began the long slow march back to the hotel in the thick of the crowds. Jay and I led the way with everyone else trailing behind, but the giant pirate flag made it easy for us to regroup. It was after six by the time we got up to the room thanks to the long wait for the elevators. It was about that time that Jay and I realized we hadn’t really eaten anything since breakfast. We’d never actually been near the food stands to look at getting anything. Room service was ordered, but we somehow missed out on that. Jay took the arm chair and I settled for laying on the floor because sitting up in the corset and keeping my back straight was just too much work. I don’t know how long it was before Robert and Jay headed to get the car. Victoria and I waited a little bit before we headed down to the lobby for them to pick us up. They left the box of all our gear and swag for me to bring, but it was heavier than I anticipated so Aaron was nice enough to carry it down.
We loaded everything up, said our good-byes, and I would have slept the whole way home if not for the stop at the McDonald’s drive through.
Later, Jay and I went through the piles of loot, and were pleasantly
surprised with how much booty we actually managed to pilfer. We wound up with several of the Gasparilla collectors coins, a necklace medallion and tons of beads. That was the good news. The bad news was the belt on my corset was broken, an earring was missing and someone who was not me had blisters. Combat boots for the win!
Jay, Me, Victoria, and Robert.
All in all, we had a very successful day of pillaging and plundering Tampa Bay. Gasparilla is a lot of fun, whether you want to dress up as a pirate or not. Dressing up will help you get more loot, and possibly your picture taken. It reminds me of what little I’ve seen of tailgating at a Tennessee football game: drinking, waiting, yelling and more drinking. This was also the day I learned that marijuana smells like skunk! (This was explained to me after the third time I asked if anyone else smelled a skunk.) This is NOT a place meant to be family friendly. The weekend before they have another festival for children, so if you have little ones I would advise going to check that one out.
Gasparilla is something that must be experienced to truly know what you’re getting yourself into. I’m sure our crew will be there again next year in one form or another. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!
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