Way back in days of old,
there was a legend told,
about a show known as Medieval Times!
Knights and horses everywhere,
so much more than a Renn Faire,
there is no show quite like Medieval Times!
Chicken plus potato, and corn too-
stuff your face until you’re through!
Yay! Only one can win the day,
only one escapes the fray,
and people call it Medieval Times!
Now listen to this music and read through that again.
When I made the reservations, I was told the castle doors open at 5:45 pm for the 7:00 pm show and seating would be first come first serve. Their website says they open seventy five minutes prior to show time. Either way, it seemed a bit like overkill to me. I hadn’t thought about how little sleep I would be running on when we planned this, and I decided a nap was more important than first choice seating.
I usually research things pretty heavily before I do them, but in this case literally all I knew was there would be food, horses, and knights. Exciting!
Jay and I arrived about 6:20 and had to drive around quite a bit to find parking. We went inside and checked in. We were given two table cards and were told we should go check out the Medieval Village after we got our picture taken with the princess. Apparently out of the nine Medieval Times locations, Orlando is the only one with a village. On our way to the pictures there was a second checkpoint in which we were issued paper crowns based on the color of our seating section. There are six different ones, and we were in the red section. I asked if Duffy could have a crown too and they laughed, but they let me have an extra one.
There were photographers taking photos of guests with either the princess or the king in two different rooms. I didn’t ask to have one taken with my phone, but I don’t think they would have let us. We got our photo with the princess, and except for her calling Jay, “My Lord,” it might as well have been with a backdrop.
From there we moved onto a large room with a balcony over-looking it. There was a bar on one end and a gift shop on the other, and it was jampacked with people. My anxiety started rising immediately, because you couldn’t move without running into someone. We tried to go to the bar to look at the souvenir glasses, but the menu didn’t have prices listed. Rather than deal with the crowd, Jay asked someone how we get to the village and we headed outside.
[lgc_column grid=”50″ tablet_grid=”50″ mobile_grid=”100″ last=”false”]I will be the first to admit the village was much bigger than I was expecting. It was about five or six small houses all pushed together. I don’t know if we started with the first house, but there seemed to be a natural path leading through it. We started with the architect’s home, although I’m not sure what made it an “architect’s” house specifically. It just seemed to be a recreation of a medieval kitchen. There were lots of signs but since it was only half an hour until show time we were moving too fast to really read much of it. [/lgc_column][lgc_column grid=”50″ tablet_grid=”50″ mobile_grid=”100″ last=”true”]
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From the kitchen it moved to clothing making and carpentry then to the blacksmith area. It was basically a little museum and I’m sure some people would find it fascinating-it’s exactly the kind of thing my dad would love. All of the artifacts were real, which was great except all the “Do Not Touch” signs made it hard to take pictures with Duffy. We passed two stalls but I guess they had already taken the horses out for the show, and the birds of prey exhibit only had one bird. I feel like we got there too late, like there should have been people working to tell you about things. There was only one lady at the end so I wasn’t expecting her and she scared me half to death. The most interesting part of the village by far was the Torture Chamber, with rooms full of examples of medieval torture devices. As we walked through I felt the need to cover Duffy’s eyes, and I looked back at Jay.
“You know what all of these are, don’t you?” “Of course I do.”
We headed back into the castle as they were just starting to call the VIP seating sections. They call everything by color, which explains the purpose of the crowns. They do all the VIP sections first, which is the front row of each section, and then the rest of the sections. We were the second to last group to go in, but we still got a table on the second row in the middle of the section. This was assigned by the cards they gave us when we first checked in. There are three sections on either side, and we were the furthest from where the riders enter and exit. The seats themselves aren’t assigned, you just pile in at the long table whereever. I put a seat between the guy next to us and myself, which I probably wasn’t supposed to do, but he was spread out and well into the space for the seat between us. The plate, bowl, and cup were all plastic but made to look metal.
Our “serving wench” came over to introduce herself to the table at large, explaining who we were supposed to cheer for (the Red Knight) and when, and that she expected us to cheer for her when she took her part in the parade. The three course meal would be served in a true medieval fashion, without silverware. You eat everything with your hands. She also explained that our ticket price did not include gratuity or alcohol, but there would be bar service available.
There were tons of people walking around before the show, and to my surprise this continued during the show. There were people with light up swords and an assortment of toys to sell, the photos that were taken earlier were actually offered for sale during the show and I missed things that were happening because of it. There was a guy who would race by saying, “Bar service!” He was so quick I have no idea how we were supposed to stop him to order drinks.
The tomato soup and garlic bread were the first thing served after the sodas. I told her she could skip me since I hate soup. Jay glared at me after she moved on, “I would have eaten it!” Whoops.
The lights went down and the show seemed to be starting at last. A single Andalusian horse bolted out into the arena followed by a trainer on foot, with no bridle or halter. The Andalusian raced around the ring for several minutes before coming to a stop and bowing beside “The Master of the Horse”, according to the narration.
A little bit of backstory about Andalusians from my years of being a horse-obsessed kid. In Vienna, Austria there is the Spanish Riding School which has been training horses in the art of dressage since the 1500s. Dressage is a form of precision riding that is used in modern day competitions, but was originally used to help a horse and rider perform better on the battle field, by increased strength, precision and communication. They are famous for their “airs above the ground” which are aerial maneuvers completed by either a horse with a trainer on foot or horse and rider together. The horses featured most famously at the Spanish Riding School are the Lipizzaner stallions. There was a company that did tours around the world of the “World Famous Lipizzaner Stallions” performing these arts, but it went bankrupt in 2010 when the economy crashed. I was lucky enough to see them twice, once when I was nine and once when I was twelve. Andalusians were also featured in that show as another breed of specially trained Spanish horse, as they are one of the breeds from which the Lipizzaner is descended. I assume Medieval Times uses them because they are more common and probably less expensive than the Lipizzaner, but are bred for the same purposes of war and precision. Learning Medieval Times had Andalusians is why I wanted to go in the first place.
The horse and rider left and lights began to flash as more narration played explaining the seating sections. We were seated on the west side of the kingdom, and each colored section was a different city. The Lord Chancellor rode out on a Friesian, a massive black horse known for their long manes and tails, and continued the narration. (I had to look a lot of this information up because I could barely understand what they were saying. I understand they need the actors to speak in case something changes through the course of the show, but I feel like having the audio prerecorded would make it much easier to follow along.) Each of the six knights had a name and a home, but the only names I managed to grasp were King Carlos and Princess Catalina. They brought the Princess out last after the procession of the serving staff and all the knights. Lots of fanfare and very fun. Then the knights and serving staff left the arena and the King and Chancellor joined the Princess on the elevated platform on the far end.
The next part of the show was my favorite, and I wish it had been longer. They brought out five Andalusians on long lines held by a trainer on the ground rather than a rider to perform a variety of dressage maneuvers. I was surprised to see them actually leave the ground in aerials. They weren’t as impressive as the Lippizaners I saw when I was younger, but it was still incredibly cool. They were definitely going for flashy rather than technical and precision, but that’s understandable at a tourist attraction. Not everyone picked Austria for their social studies project just so they could write about horses.
This night is literally why I bought a real camera.
After the horses head backstage a handler enters with a falcon on his arm and a hood over its head. He removes the hood and the bird leaps into the air. They do a sort of dance around each other before he sends the falcon to fly around the arena and over the crowds heads. The Chancellor had to repeatedly tell people not to raise their arms and distract the bird. Typical tourists-those things have talons for ripping prey apart, and you try to get it to land on you. Great idea. The falcon returned to the handler, and they departed the arena just in time for the food to be served.
Our serving wench came through with each of the menu items individually. She put the chicken down first, then came through a second time with the corn and a third time with the potato. We tore into it, in typical Chelsea and Jay fashion we hadn’t eaten all day. I appreciate the theming of not having silverware, and realize it cuts down on the amount of washing they have to do, but eating chicken like that was more trouble than it was worth. In the long list of things wrong with me, my front teeth don’t connect properly so eating stuff like corn on the cob and chicken on the bone is difficult. At least the potato was easy.
Generic knights of the king’s guard, who I suspect were the champion knights in different outfits, rode out into the arena. They performed a set of choreographed precise patterns where if anyone is off by a beat they will likely collide. Pretty standard stuff for any show with horses, but very fun to watch. There wasn’t much room for error, and one of the horses was just not having it, so I was impressed with the riders.
The King and Princess Catalina then decreed it was time to announce the kingdom’s celebrations, or rather announce the people who paid for the celebration packages. I was surprised at how long the list was. At the end of the announcements, a “Herald from the North” is announced and rides in-a messenger from King Ulrich. The north is clearly cold because he was dressed in layers of fur and mounted on a draft horse. He told the King he has brought a gift, and then asked for permission to go get said gift. Sure. That makes sense. Princess Catalina didn’t seem happy about it and went on about King Ulrich’s attacks on other kingdoms. At least it was some backstory.
The Herald left and it was finally time for the tournament to begin! The six knights rode back into the arena, on different horses this time I noticed, to thunderous applause. Other people in our section had clearly figured out the bar service because they were getting super into it and quite rowdy. We were excited because we thought this would be the jousting, but of course they couldn’t start with the best. The first event was a relay race where the six knights were divided into two teams of three, throwing a staff back and forth. Each knight went at least twice. Then they all lined up on one end of the arena with lances and rings descended from the rafters. They rode through and tried to spear the ring on the end of the lance. All of the knights managed it each time, except the Blue Knight. In between the events the knights would ride through with carnations and toss them to women in the audience. I got one from the Red Knight on his second pass through, but horribly missed catching it so it landed in my lap. Jay was not happy, but I’m impressed they could throw them so accurately! The third event involved riding the length of the arena and throwing a spear at a target. Sadly for us the target was at the far end near the platform with the King and Princess so it was really hard to see. The Chancellor repeatedly had to ask for the front row of our section to be clear since one of the photo sales people was there, I guess they can’t have anyone that close in case a spear goes astray.
The knights headed off stage for a well deserved break, and the Herald returned with his gift, an Andalusian stallion for the King to use for breeding. They performed a variety of dressage displays that could have been much longer in my opinion. I will always prefer more animals and less talking in all shows! The Master of the Horse rode off and the Herald returned. There was a bunch of back and forth between the Herald, the King and the Princess about the difference between a gift and a tribute before the Herald demanded a gift in return: the hand of the Princess in marriage to unite the two kingdoms. This did not go over well with the King, and the Herald left in anger.
I would want this horse for a present!
The grand procession began as the squires marched into the arena followed by their knights on horseback. At last it was time for the jousting! Nets lowered on either side of the arena to protect the audience. Lances really do break and wood goes flying! Jay used to work Renaissance Faires when he lived in Colorado. Since he played one of the Knights in the hand to hand combat so I had a live commentary. The Green Knight was chosen to go first and to issue the challenge to the knight of his choosing. He challenged the Black and White Knight, and they took up positions on either side. Jousting is one of the few things that looks just like it does in movies, it really is two guys riding full speed at each other with wooden lances. They did one round with minimal damage to either lance. The second round went the same, until the Black and White Knight was several paces past the point of collision and he dramatically threw himself off his horse. Well, all right then. The Green Knight then approached him on horseback with hand to hand weapons, until the King told him to dismount and make it fair.
This is when I learned this is not the sort of event you should take Jay to. I’m critical enough from faking fights for film, but he used to do full impact combat with an axe and a shield. So every time someone took an overly dramatic dive or hit that actually didn’t make contact, someone got increasingly annoyed.
The Green Knight and the Black and White Knight proceeded to fight in hand to hand combat with a mace and sword until the Green Knight stood victorious.
The Yellow Knight then issued a challenge to the Blue Knight. They only made it one round before it moved to hand to hand combat and the Yellow Knight bested him. Before the next fight could begin, the Yellow Knight sort of sucker punched the Red and Yellow Knight and pulled him from his horse. That fight ended quickly with the Yellow Knight’s defeat.
Finally our champion was called, and the Red Knight challenged the Green Knight. They went through two rounds before the Red Knight threw him to the ground. Then the Red Knight, Champion of the West, went up against the Red and Yellow Knight, Champion of the East. We were extremely surprised when the Red and Yellow Knight came out on top, since our side was cheering much harder. The nets on the sides started to go up, and the Red and Yellow Knight climbed up into the stands to present a woman with a banner as the Champion of the Tournament. It was then our serving wench came by with pound cake for dessert, I took about three bites and left it unfinished. Coffee was served as well, but I passed on that. Jay drank mine instead.
Then the Herald rode back in to demand the hand of the Princess once more, and the King asked the Red and Yellow Knight to fight for her. The Red and Yellow Knight’s squire joined the battle against the Herald’s two squires. One of the Herald’s squires went down fairly quickly, then the second squire defeated the Knight’s squire. The Red and Yellow Knight in turn defeated him before the final battle with the Herald. This was the most impressive of all the sword fights, as it should be, but soon enough our Champion, of course, bested the Herald. The lights went down momentarily and when they came back up the Herald was in shackles with his arms held to either side by squires. The King demanded he surrender and depart. He retorted he would rather die than return empty handed, so he was dragged off to the dungeons.
He returned barely a few minutes later, however, as all the riders rode into the arena to take their bows. The full procession, even the Knights who had been “killed” rode back in and the actors names were called so they could take their bows. Many people didn’t wait for this to finish, and we were among the last to leave the arena.
We headed back into the preshow area, and I guess a lot of people went straight for the cars because it was basically empty. The King happened to be right in front of us so I stopped for a photo with him before a restroom run. He pointed at Duffy, “Does he go everywhere with you?” “Yes, yes he does!” We headed out, passing some of the Knights and the Herald along the way. On the drive home, I got a history from Jay that made everything make more sense, “Whoever wrote it knew just enough to get it right, you just couldn’t hear anything!”
He’s completely right. My biggest complaint about this show was the dialogue. The Knights are riders, not actors, and it was hard to hear. I followed the story for the most part, but having colors instead of names didn’t help me any. Also the Red Knight/Red and Yellow Knight/Yellow Knight/Black and White Knight seems redundant. When Jay did the Renaissance Faire he was the Knight of the Rose, and he stood for chivalry. He fought against the Knight of the Book, the Knight of the Sword, and so on. I like that idea much better. That being said, I got to see horses do amazing levels of dressage and guys smash into each other with sticks. It was a fantastic night! I feel like if we’d actually managed to get the bar service, I wouldn’t have even noticed the things that bugged me.
Cost: General admission is $62.95 per adult plus tax. I found an online deal for $44.95 per person, plus the $10 tip I left brought the total to roughly $100 for the night.
Duration: 3ish hours. The show itself is two hours but once you add the preshow area and exploring the village, it’s closer to three.
Value: Fantastic to do once. Might go back with family or a large group.
Add On Options: King’s Royalty Package upgrade for $22 per person, Celebration Package upgrade for $18 per person or Royalty Package upgrade for $12 per person. There are also souvenir cups and alcoholic beverages you can buy in addition to photos.
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